Whats jokes
What school did we say it was today? What did the snow say? "I love!"
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
What were Princess Diana's last words?
Have you been Dri...?
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
What do Americans call high school?
Shooting range.
What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?
Home buttons.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*