Whats jokes

What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)

What's the difference between a dead baby and a slice of pizza?

A dead baby can't feed a family.

Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

Actor: Really? What do I do?

Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?

The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.

(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)

What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?

Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.

What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?

What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.

What type of bees give milk?

Boob-bees.

Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"

What's black, white, and red all over? The interracial abortion.

What do you call an Arab and a black man flying a plane?

Pilots. You racist f*ck.

What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?

The Stigg.

What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?

"Fortnite"

Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.

The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."

A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.

What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?

A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.

Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?

A: Her dead fetus.