Whats jokes

Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”

Patient: “Give me the good news first.”

Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”

Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”

Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”

What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?

About 15 stone.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”

I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!

What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"

What are the similarities between apples and emos?

They both hang from trees.

Like if you laugh.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.

What did God say to the black person?

"Oops, I burned one."😳

Not racist, just funny.

Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?

Reading her rights!

What do you call an emo group?

Suicide squad.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?

At least gorillas don't abort their own.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Disabled.

What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!

What to do when you're bored? Punch an orphan in the face. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you are what you eat, then I’m black.

What's the best song to sing to George Floyd?

"I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor.

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."