Whats jokes
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
What’s the hardest part to eat on a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Memes
How a regular Valentines day goes:
What is a gay man's favorite hobby?
Cockfighting.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.