Whats jokes
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
What's after R-P-G?
W.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
What's big and yellow...?
A bus full of kids.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
What did kings say when they were made king? Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."
The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"
The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."
What is the difference between a comma and a period?
A comma gives you a pause, but a period gives you sleep.
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
What would Martin Luther King be if he was white? Alive.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
What is black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What do you call a rapper who can't rhyme?
A rapscallion without the rap.