Whats jokes
What did the rapper say to the vegetable?
"Lettuce DROP some BEATS!"
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
What is an orphan's least favorite song? We Are Family.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
What is the difference between preschools and my basement?
Little kids come out of preschool.
Wait what???
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
What’s a gay man’s favorite cereal?
Froot Loops
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
2Pac + 2Pac = 4Pac