Whats jokes
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
What do you call an alligator that likes donuts? A donutator!
Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger.
What type of sound does your crack make?
Answer: Quack!
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
What do you call a cow?
A cow!
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.