Whats jokes
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”
Vote for the better joke.
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
Memes
CAKED ASS
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.