Whats jokes
Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
What is the difference between the human rights act and a home?
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
Boy: *scares girl*
Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"
Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*
Girl: What work?
Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.