Whats jokes
What is an orphan's favorite part of school homework?
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?
Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”
Memes
Moon Knight is awesome
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."