Whats jokes
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What is the darkest month?
Black History Month.
What’s the difference between Mexicans and stoners?
Stoners have papers.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.