Whats jokes

Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.

Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?

A: Delici-Oso

Why are orphans bad at poker?

They don't know what a full house is.

What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.

What do you call expired milk?

The Milky Way.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic and the other is a priest.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

What’s the best part about raping a blind girl? She’ll never see you coming.

What do dogs do when they lose their tail?

They go to the retail store.

What's the definition of rude?

Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.

Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"

Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."

What should you use to battle a T-Rex?

A dino-sword.

Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?

A: Lazy bones.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels.

What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.

What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.

What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.

What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.

What is yellow and can’t swim?

A school bus full of children.

What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?

Beef strokin' off.

There's nothing else that can beat up dog.

What's up, dog?

Just my depression!

What kind of trumpet are you playing?

An "Donald Trumpet"!