Whats jokes

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

You can roast chicken.

What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.

What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.

What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?

Names.

What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.

What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.

Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.

What goes in hard and comes out soft? A toothbrush.

What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

Only one is wanted.

If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?

Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie with Batman?

Two family reunions!

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.

Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?

"Get to the ground, beef!"

What thing can an orphan do best?

Stay at home alone.

Why do orphans become criminals?

To feel what it is like to be wanted.