Whats jokes

Me: What's yellow and can't swim?

My sister: What??

Me: A school bus filled with kids.

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!

Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...

Rape...hurt...and sell them!

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.

Teacher: What does a pig give you?

Little Johnny: Bacon.

Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?

Little Johnny: Wool.

Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?

Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."

A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."

The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"

The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

What was one cool thing about Hitler?

He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.

What's the difference between Autism and Gender?

Autism is on a spectrum.

What do you call an Indian babysitter?

Nanny.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of screaming children.

What is the weirdest thing to wear and what is the weirdest thing to say?

Weirdest thing to ware: Socks with sandals, also with flip flops!

Weirdest thing to say: "Would you rather be a bath or a toilet?" "The blue angel sea slug looks like an alien." (weird).

Bonus: Things to ware with other things: Crop top with t-shirt (really hip), Crop top with tights or shorts, dresses with tights! (Cool) Oh well byeeeeeee!

SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"

Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"

Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...

My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Lean beef.

What does an Arab prostitute say?

"Bomb my pussy!"

Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?

A: On The Border.

What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a car in my garage.

A boy walks into the bedroom and sees mom and dad having sex. The boy says, "What are you doing?"

"Baking a cake."

The next day he walked up to his mom doing dishes.

"Remember when you were making a cake? I LICKED UP ALL THE FROSTING."

What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?

High steaks gambling.

What's long, hard, and has cum in it?

A cuCUMber.

What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"

What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.