Whats jokes

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.

What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?

A pillow fight.

What do you call a house party for slaves?

An auction house.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite flavor from Ben and Jerry's? "Schweaty balls," or if you're Michael Joseph Jackson, "tiny balls."

What is Michael Jackson's favorite phrase to parents of boys? "Leave me alone!"

What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.

What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?

My dick.

What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.

What is black, white, and red all over?

My third wife.

"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.

"Give me the good news first," the patient said.

"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."

"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"I've been trying to reach you for two days."

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?

Pot roast.

What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.

What did the Indian say to the fat man?

"Curry up!"

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.

"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂

What's the difference between a cow and a pig?

One is a pig.