What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
Whats Jokes
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?
One can feed a family.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite drug? Crack.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?
"Just Beat It."
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?
Wet 6-year-old balls.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
