Whats jokes
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What song did Whitney Houston listen to while doing cocaine?
"Run It!" by Chris Brown.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.