Whats jokes

Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...

A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"

"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"

They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"

"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"

What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.

"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!

What is Mexicans' favorite sport?

Cross-country.

What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?

A fat nun.

What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?

Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.

Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!

What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?

Baby Jesus died a virgin.

What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?

"I sea him!"

A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.

The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.

What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?

Everyone gets a turn ;)

What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?

He made no cents.

What do you call a chair with a hat?

I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?

What is yellow and does not float well?

A school bus.

What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?

Man, you are really on edge.

What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?

reCAPTCHA

What do you call a router in a thong?

CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)