Whats jokes
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
Family photo.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs!
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?
Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What do you call a washed vegetable? A disabled kid that needs a towel.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.