Whats jokes

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

What's something that 9/10 people enjoy? A gangbang.

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.

What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

What is the difference between iPhones and orphans?

iPhones have a home button.

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends.

Why do orphans suck at web design?

They don’t know what a home page is.

What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.

What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?

I'm ta ping it, some ting won.

What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.

Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?

I haven't been caught.

What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?

The blue screen of death.

What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?

Telephone? No.

Television? No.

How then? Tell a woman!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm!