Whats jokes
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
what did Bruce Willis say after he had a vasectomy? "snip-y ki yay motherfucker"
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.