Whats jokes
I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
What do you call a family photo taken by an orphan?
A selfie.
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A stego-sore-ass.
what the earth would look live after a year of the moon slowing down:
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.