What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.
Whats Jokes
What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped?
While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
What did the orphan say to the house? Can I live here?
What do you call a tree?
A treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
What did the rooster say to the hen? Goodbye.
"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."
"Oh no, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Oh, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
What did Darth Trump Vader say to evil emperor Putin?
Yessssss, MEaster!
Time for double joke Tuesday.
What is a bird's favorite letter?
A C gull.
So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.
Kid: You're a dick, you know!
Me: And you're a pussy, you know?
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
What type of implants are at a Chinese dentist office? Buck teeth implants.
What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?
"This taste a little funny."
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?
There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.