Whats jokes
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
What is pedophiles' favorite prey: Vegetables?
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Guess what?
Good guess.
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
What's black, anorexic, dumb, and will never get a girlfriend?
Me.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?
Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"
SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"
HE: "I'm a butcher."
SHE: "We're through!"
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.