What's the difference between your dad and cancer?
Cancer came back...
Whats Jokes
What's a turtle's favorite thrill ride?
Shell shock!
What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef?
Beefthoven!
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-lotta-puss.
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares?
What do you call a duck with no head?
Your mom gay.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?