Whats jokes
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?
DUH! A sticker.
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
What do planets read?
Comet books.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."