Whats jokes
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?
A. Ice burger.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
*Aye, Matey!*
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”
Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”
The teacher faints.
What’s the difference between Jesus and the toddler in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
What do you call a blind racist?
A not see.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.