Whats jokes
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
What do me and an emo kid have in common:
We both like to hang.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? Little skin flutes.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?
Nothing, they're both receding.
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
What do you call a Panera Bread you write with?
Panera lead.