New Whats Jokes - Page 147 - Worst Jokes Ever

What did the lady say when she sat on Pinocchio's face:

"Tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth, tell a lie, tell a truth!"

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

What do you call the middle of a penny?

A center (get it? Cent-er).

Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?

A: They've dealt with a burning bush.

What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!

I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!

If you're ever frustrated, just punch them in the face. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."

What did the toaster say to the piece of bread? "I want you inside me."

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.

"What?" Angelica replied.

"I'm a guy."

I went to an interview and my future boss said, "Hi, my name is Watt Niseto, meet you."

Then said, "WHAT IS UR NAME?" He then said,

"What is not my name, Watt is." So I replied, "Ugh fine, I guess I'll call you Wha." Then he said, "Wha I not my name."

And then I said, "Ugh fine, my name is Will Knott." He then replied, "Hi Will Not."

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?

Glockamole.

What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?

Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...

What do 2 emo kids say to each other?

"I like ya cut, G."

*Slaps wrist*

What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.

BUT!!!!!!

I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.