Whats jokes
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?
The Royal Commission.
Alternatively, Tony Abbott.
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What is an orphan's favorite Marvel movie?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
Wanna play Jenga?
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
What's an orphan's least favorite meme? "Family."
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.