Whats jokes
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
What do you call a black guy on the moon?
YOU RACISTS! An astronaut!
What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?
Special forces.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What's a terrorist's favorite car? A Porsche 9/11.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!