Whats jokes
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
What do orphans and apples not have in common... The apples get picked up.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?
Floor 44.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What do children with cancer and Russian soldiers have in common? Their life doesn't last long.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Half of it. 🐛
What movie do all orphans find relatable?
Spiderman: No Way Home.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."