What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
Whats Jokes
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."
The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."
The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
What did the mermaid wear for math class?
Algaebra.
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?
What's a ghost's favorite drink?
Ghoul-aid!
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.