Whats jokes
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.