Whats jokes
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
What do cows eat for breakfast? -- Moosli.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
"Quack, quack."
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.