Whats jokes
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabytes.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.