Whats jokes

What is the difference between a man peering through the key hole and a woman in the bath?

One is rude and nosy; the other is rude and nosy.

What's a skeleton's favorite meme?

Ken Bone.

What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!

What's the difference between a fish and a car?

You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3

What food does a cheetah eat?

Fast food.

There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"

"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.

"I want to be a hunter."

"Why?" the other babies ask.

"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."

What is flatter than an Asian?

Their nose.

What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?

"They see me rolling, they hatin'."

What do you call a man with no legs?

Neil (kneel)

What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.

What do you call a fat Chinese man?

A double chinkey.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Hit your wife harder.

Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.

Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"

So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"

The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"

What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?

There's ate of them.

What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?

The wheelchair.

What did your mom get for Christmas?

A big black horse dildo.

What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?

A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.

What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?

Ruberto

What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.