What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
Whats Jokes
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?
What do we call a gay Canadian?
Sophisticated cunt.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"