Whats jokes
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAANNNNDDDDEEEEEEYYYYEEEEEE!
What did the doc say to the skeleton? You're skele-a-ton.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? The Microsoft shutdown sound.
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
I don't know what to say.
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
Ask Boeing.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.