Whats jokes
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
What is killing your friend called?
A homie-side.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
What's black and white and red all over????? A zebra in a blender!
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?
Hot Wheels.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.