Whats jokes
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAANNNNDDDDEEEEEEYYYYEEEEEE!
What did the doc say to the skeleton? You're skele-a-ton.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.