What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
Whats Jokes
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
What is a cow's favorite class in school?
Moosic.
What do you call a wet condom?
A wet condom.
Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
What did Allan say to William, his sister, when he stepped on his toe? "OWWW Mitosis."