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Bull

What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?

They both charge.

Steroid

A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."

Fly

What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?

Its butt.

Cow

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.

  • 5

    • Helium

    Hey John, how are you going?

    Helium, yeah good, what about you?

    (Hey Liam)

    Graduate

    What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

    "Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

    Jester

    The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

    I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, Iā€™m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

    Jester

    The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

    I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.

    OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

    Fetus

    What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?

    An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.

    Yolk

    What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

    Egg

    So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

    I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

    Bid

    Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?

    A: They give you more bids.

    Blowjob

    A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."