Whats jokes
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What's wrong with my friend?
He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because of my short hair. I mean, what did you expect? I'm gay, of course, I have short hair.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost.
So as they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun." And the man from New York said, "Bring me a gun as well!"
The guy was confused but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For the France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shooting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because I have short hair. I mean, I'm gay, what do you expect?
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
What can a rock possibly say?
Answer: I'll fuck ya mum rock hard.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.