Whats jokes
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
Kid: "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What did the fork say to the cake?
A: "I want a piece of you!"
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
I didn’t know what a class clown was till I went to a class and realized I was a class clown in kindergarten, and then I woke up from a nightmare.
What’s Mexico’s favorite sport?
Cross country.
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
What's yellow and smells of Marge? Homer Simpson's fingers!
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
What do you call a depressed person?
Me.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!