Weight jokes

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.

My sis a fat cow.

Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.

Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.

Fatty and Skinny sitting in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.

Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!

What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?

Fat people jokes.

Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."