Weight jokes

Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.

You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.

Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.

My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.

I told her to keep her chins up.

Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.

Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.

I want your weight, not your phone number.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.

Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...

SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?

Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.

How do fat people settle arguments?

By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.

Something you can say about your furniture, but not your partner: "Those legs sure hold a lot of weight."

My sis a fat cow.

Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.

Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.

Fatty and Skinny sitting in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.