Weapon jokes

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

A guy walks into a bar with a .44 magnum and yells: "Who the fuck fucked my wife?"

Everybody is silent for a second, then the bartender said: "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets!"

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

I beat up my twin friends with a plane.

How do you kill time?

Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.

What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.

What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?

They both make a sound when thrown.

What did the knife say to the other knife?

"Knife to meet you."

What do you get when you eat a hamburger?

Mustard gas.

What is the difference between a knife and a feminist?

A knife has a point.

Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.

Chuck Norris once killed 50 people with a grenade. Then he threw the grenade.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.

What was the last thing to go through the terrorist's mind? The detonator.

What do you call an abo with a shotgun?

Sir.

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.