I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight, I'm bringing a gun
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
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