What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.
My victims still scream.
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Master has given Dobby a Glock. Dobby is Thug.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
