A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.
A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"
The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
What color is your Bugatti?
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹
That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
The "w" in Africa stands for wealth.
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
