Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
What color is your Bugatti?
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹
That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹
People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
The w in Africa stands for wealth
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
Why can't orphans have a five-star GTA because they're not wanted?
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?
I don’t have a Mercedes.
