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Wealth

Wealth jokes

P = Person (not original "pun")

P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!

(Communications with this person are now blocked)

A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.

The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."

The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."

The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."

What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?

I don't have $1 million in my wallet.

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red Ferrari?

I don't have the Ferrari.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.

The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"

  • 3

    • What's the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?

    I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

    A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.

    I don't have any now.

    What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

    I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.

    Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.

    What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?

    I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

    What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?

    I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.