Wealth jokes
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Once upon a time, there was a poor man, a middle-class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said, "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle-class man said, "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said, "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me."
And then the wall fell on them.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.
My syndrome may be down, but my money be up 😈.
What is the richest planet?
Saturn 🪐- It has many rings.
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?
High interest!
What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
What’s the difference between a pile of corpses and a Mclaren P1?
I don’t have a garage.
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.