What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. It just "waved!"
