How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
What mountain cries the most?
A mountain under water.
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?
Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.
What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?
He became spotless!!!
So Jessie Waters goes on TV without a gallon of hair gel. Oh wait, never mind!
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
