People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.
Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.
It's my New Year's resolution.
What kind of Videos Orphans cant watch?Family friendly Content.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
I watch sexy girls AMV and my pp goes up and down and up.
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.
Why couldn’t the kitten watch the movie? It had a violent cat-e-gory.
