Watch jokes

For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.

I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.

Roses are red, oranges are orange.

Get a life, quit watching porn.

Why did the boy shoot the clock? He wanted to kill time.

This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ

"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."

Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.

Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!

What did the watch say to the failing watch company?

"You better watch it!"

Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.

*Takes huge bite of air.*

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?

Because they don't know what age rate they are...

What show do gay men watch?

"2 and a Half Men!"

Lol at this one fellas!

They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.

It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.

What kind of videos can't orphans watch?

Family-friendly content.

Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?

A waist of time.

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"