Watch Jokes

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?" Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal and one man came up with a great idea. He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary

Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip

if a orphan wants food who does it? no one everybody just watches him starve because they couldent find his parent's

i was exited to watch fast and furious because of Dom Toretto then i realised family is nothing to me cause im an orphan

What sort of movies do cows like to watch? Moosicals

They finally made a movie about a clock, about time

As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall. The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty. After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks. Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!".

i wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game... oh wait he cant

i got my blind friend a tv.. he never uses it

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

This the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ

"He said one day, you'll leave this world behind. So live a life you will remember. My father told me when I was just a child, these are the nights that never die. My father told me."

Whenever I think about it deeply it makes me wanna cry :(

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

People see this Rolex and they kill themselves. Motherfuckrr that's a suicide watch

What did the watch say to the failing watch company? - You better watch it

Hey watch me eat this African sandwich. Takes huge bite of air.

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THATS 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still cant cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still cant f*ck."