My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
